Nightblindness

This is the second entry where I select a song title at random from my itunes library as a writing prompt.

Song title: “Nightblindness” by David Gray

I have had poor eyesight forever, or ever since I was in fifth grade, got glasses, and discovered the trees had leaves. I first wore wire rims, then classic coke-bottle glasses with brownish-purple plastic frames that I thought looked “cool” (read “hideous” and “why did my mother let me do that?”), which I wore through junior high school. After that I endured years of new-and-improved contact lenses — dealing with dry rubber eyeballs at the end of the day, searching for the invisible lens after dropping it, seeing the college boyfriend accidentally swallow one that I’d put in a glass of water. Finally, a few years ago, I got laser eye surgery, also known as Lasik.

It has been a godsend.

At the time, the doctor told me I was a “borderline” candidate, which meant that my near-sightedness was so bad (my prescription is -6) he couldn’t promise me 20/20 vision. And, he added, “You will definitely need reading glasses.”

For me, none of that mattered. The first time I didn’t have to poke a slippery translucent disc into my eye was my “Hallelujah” moment. After the operation itself (easy for some, but not my favorite, as my kids say), my newfound and naked vision was nothing short of a miracle.

However, a little over a year ago, I found myself squinting a lot. I mostly noticed because the little lines around my eyes had increased dramatically, and I was becoming alarmed. This had to be more than simply “aging.” And blobbing the most expensive eye cream (because that means it’s the best, right?) around my eyes day and night didn’t seem to help.

Additionally, at night while driving I realized all the lights were a bit blurry and I was sticking my neck out over the steering wheel like a turtle — as if that would make me see better.

Finally, I went for an eye exam, convinced that my vision had slipped about halfway back to “legally blind.” But actually, when the doctor told me the results — about 20/40 — she commented that it wasn’t “that bad.”

So you’re saying I’m just picky?” I joked.

“Basically,” she joked back (I think).

She added that it was possible my Lasik had initially over-corrected to better than 20/20 so I was used to seeing like Superman.

Well, maybe so, but I have to say, HD was working for me. So, I got glasses with the prescription she wrote, and I now wear them often while driving — and not just at night. I also use them at sporting events … and my kids’ performances … and, um, for watching TV. I definitely have not become dependent, though. I don’t wear them while sleeping or going out to dinner.

No, at dinner in order to read a menu, I now pull out the “cheaters,” those other glasses I carry in my purse, alongside the sunglasses (two pairs, in case I lose one) and the “night” glasses, which I had relegated to my car until I realized I really needed them for all that other stuff I just mentioned.

Lately, I’ve found myself walking into the house with my “driving glasses” on my head and then putting on my reading glasses at the computer, and realizing I look like a complete freak. Sometimes sunglasses are even hanging off the top of my shirt.

Yes, that seems like too many glasses. That’s what bifocals/trifocals are for, right? But then I’d have to say my Lasik was a complete waste. And besides, I really don’t want to wear glasses all the time.